Dear Chloe: He says he wants me but I keep finding out he’s lying to me.  Help! –Confused

Dear Confused:  Guys…excuse me let me say boys, there is no guide to boys nor is there a guide to high school boys especially. There is no easy way to go through a high school relationship. There is no way to even find out what they’re thinking or how they think. They don’t know what they want and that’s the bottom line. Though you can’t compare all guys to being indecisive and not knowing what they want. With that being said let’s dive into why he may be lying to you but saying he wants you.

Let’s start with this. Females are more mature than males and that’s a fact. “Girls undergo puberty 1-2 years before a male which makes them physically and mentally mature faster” with that being said it doesn’t deter from the fact boys should know lying is wrong. But the biggest reason they lie is they themselves have the thought they should show no emotion and be tough at all times. So it makes him feel weak and less like a man if he has to show emotion and be HONEST about what he feels. There’s the key, being honest. He might tell you he likes you and wants you but how do you know if it’s true or just an act being put on.

Another reason or let me say..excuse he may give you about lying is he is protecting you. This is a completely false thing he is saying to you. But they don’t think about it the way we do. We think “He’s lying to me and won’t tell me whats really going on” which makes us believe it may be something deeper…even maybe someone else. But in the guy’s mindset it’s “If she doesn’t know she won’t think about it or be hurt.” which is completely false.

The most reasonable logic behind his lies is that he is trying to imply his own protection. When guys know they are wrong they aren’t upfront and admit it. They’ll try and lie their way out of it before they have to admit that they messed up and have to apologize. Guys have a tendency to do the wrong thing and choose not to tell us when it would make it a whole lot easier. The reason it hurts so much to be lied to is because now there is no more trust, and with no trust comes no successful relationship.

So yes, while he may say he wants you. But overall “actions prove who someone is while words prove who they pretend to be.” My biggest advice and tip to you is if you like him and he keeps lying to you, get up and walk away. You deserve much better. If he can’t be honest to you but he “wants you” he doesn’t deserve you.

The real question is does it ever get better? Do they ever change? Will he ever change his mind? Will he ever mature? Will he ever give me the answers I want? Will he ever give me the bare minimum..and the short answer is..no and if they do it’ll be in their mid thirties. So don’t sit around and wait for the truth. Don’t sit around at all move on and move forward.