After three weeks of eager anticipation, Conan Gray has finally released his new single, “Winner”. Gray is the heartbroken prince who writes the most soul crushing songs, and “Winner” is no exception. As sad as this song is, Gray once again manages to take his pain and turn it into something extraordinary.
Gray teased verse one and the pre-chorus on his private TikTok account, which he made specifically for his close fans. Many “Coneheads” compared “Winner” to “Family Line”, which is one of Gray’s songs on his second studio album, “Superache”. Fans speculated “Winner” would be based on Gray’s childhood trauma, just as “Family Line” had been, and they were right. Even though he has not specifically said who the song is about, it is most likely about his father.
When I first heard that Gray would be releasing a song titled “Winner”, I assumed that the song would be about how he overcame the hardships presented in his childhood and how he grew from the experience, but I was wrong. Gray instead named this manipulative person a “Winner” because no one “has done better at making [him] feel worse”.
My favorite line is “How do I somehow feel guilty when you’re the one who let it get this bad?” I understand Gray’s feelings of guilt and empathize with him. Even though he knows the situation was not his fault, Gray strangely manages to feel responsible.
While listening to this song, I could tell how much Gray was carrying inside. While writing this song, he was able to accept the fact that he was in deep pain. “You hurt me more than anybody ever could… You win”, said Gray.
After having spent “[his] whole life running from any memory of anything that ever hurt [him]”, Gray realized that “there is a certain freedom that comes from recognizing that you’ve been hurt”. Even though Gray was forced to mature at such a young age, he hopes that by telling his story he can help others in a similar situation feel less alone, “helps people find a little piece of that freedom”.